I think the 'teaching gods' are mad at me. Either that, or they are challenging me. Do they know who they are messing with? Obviously not.

All in all, kindergarten was an....experience. During the duration of the job, I would say that it was awful. Now, with a little time to think, I would say it was challenging. It was challenging because it was kindergarten (and I'm not sure how I REALLY feel about irrational 5 year olds). I think that it takes a special person to teach kinder. I am not the type of person that talks in a baby voice and gets all cutesy. I talk to them like they're people. Can you see me doing that? No, me neither. Not that they weren't CUTE. They were very adorable. Along with adorable, they were frightening.

These kids had a rocky start to school. With a teacher who was 7 months pregnant, to going through a few other teachers after she left, they did not have consistency. Also, the combination of personalities and behavior problems in the classroom were astonishing. They did not understand order, or rules, or consequences, or that it is not okay to punch people. So many different things were tried with so many different teachers, but nothing was really that EFFECTIVE. Even the kids that were once pretty well behaved turned into kids that didn't listen. At first, I thought that I could change them and make a difference, but by the end of my "sentence", I really just felt overjoyed to be leaving, and VERY sorry for the teacher that was coming back.

I can see how teachers can become "mean". I was angry all day; yelling, punishing, and being extremely strict. I didn't like who I was during the day. I would come home and not be able to sleep at night, thinking "how can I make a difference? What can I do?" I was extremely lucky in my student teaching, because I was at a great school with amazing students and I really never said anything negative to say. This kindergarten job taught me that now, not only do I need to find a full time job, I need to find the right school for me. I at least need administration that will help and back me up in my decisions.

On the plus, I met some good people. I would not have made it through the days without my para. She was great and it was nice having someone there to endure the long days in the worst class in 10 years (a staff member there actually told me that). I'm positive that I am an exponentially better teacher than I was before this experience. I met some kids that I will remember, well...forever. Some will be in my dreams, others in my nightmares :)

Just a few tidbits of my magical days:
*words from a 6 year old: "You are an awful teacher and I hate you."
*two boys running around the classroom pushing things over, my para evacuating the rest of the class, and me trying to get these boys under control but not being able to, calling the office for help but no one came. Eventually one boy hit and kicked another teacher, had to go to the assistant principal's office and pushed everything off her desk and screamed and hit and was suspended for two days. A 5 year old!
*two meetings with one boy's father about moving him to half days for behavior, and after he told me, "I can be good." Five minutes later, he is staring me in the face while cutting apart another student's nametag.
*Watching one boy kick the special ed student in the face on purpose with an evil gleam in his eye.