Subbing

The inevitable has happened. I am a substitute teacher. When I think of a 'sub' I think of a lady in her mid-60s wearing a pumpkin sweater, with frizzy hair put up in those chopsticky-things and lipstick on her teeth. Then, the sweet remembrance of being a student and watching movies in class and completing crossword puzzles all day when we had subs.

For one, I was right about the apparel. I went to a sub orientation last week, and one of the ladies there was wearing a CHRISTMAS sweater. It was September. I understand the need to wear a nice, frumpy Christmas sweater, but in September? REALLY? It was the epitome of a stereotype. It made me smile a little, and then cry a lot....is this what I am going to turn into?

So, the night before my first job, I packed my Tale of Despereaux lunchbox, picked out my clothes, and went to bed early. Tomorrow my life would have some PURPOSE! It was kind of like the night before Christmas. Except, I was Santa and the presents were 1st and 2nd graders who had never had a sub before.

The next morning: coffee-check. Mapquest directions to a school I knew nothing about-check. I showed up to the school early, eagerly and nervously. Long story short, I ended up subbing in three classrooms that day. Not one, but three. Count them. In two of the rooms, I did not even have a class list. The students can just leave the room and go to the bathroom when they please--and to be honest, I didn't even know how many kids were in my class, much less what their names were. It was stressful, to say the least, especially after being trained to be so responsible and on top of things in student teaching. The day ended, though, at the late hour of 2:30. All in all, it had been an okay day. I met a lot of cool, young teachers and networked a little bit. I left my business cards in every employee's mailbox, which probably annoyed them thoroughly, but I left feeling pretty accomplished. Plus, I was getting PAID for this! This is slightly exciting after student teaching for free.

NOTE: These are no longer the days of movie-watching and crossword puzzle doing. I always teach all the lessons for the day, just like the teacher is there. It is a challenge, but I like it!

I have subbed quite a bit this month. I have been back to the first school about 8 times, which is pretty good! My secret plan is that teachers and administrators will see how fabulous I am and then want to hire me, or tell others to hire me. If socializing is what it takes, then socializing I will do! If I can become prom queen, I obviously know how to socialize my way through a school.

So far, these are some of my favorite subbing moments:

Student: Ms. Johnson (as read on the board)....what does the MS stand for?
Me: Miss.
Student: But what does that mean?
Me: Like Mrs,, but not. It means not married.

Student: Ms. Johnson, he said the K word!
Me: Okay, I'll talk to him about it.
Thinking, "What the HELL is the K word!?!?!?!"

Girl 1: If you don't shut up, I'm going to punch you in the face!
Girl 2: Fine!
Me:!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????!!!!!!!??????????? OMG

1st Grader: Ms. Johnson, I think you are a GREAT substitute teacher. :) :) :)

And of course, my favorite: The 5th graders are having a poll whether you are hot or not.
Me: That is inappropriate. ha ha ha.